Snack of the Clones

Not so long ago, in a galaxy not so far away, a Supreme Judicial Tribunal meets. The fate of their Republic hangs in the balance. The fate of the Consitution rests in their hands. Cliches abound. Treachery is everywhere. Can these nine brave souls stand strong in the face of evil and fear?

Bottom row (From left): Justice Scowlito, Justice Scowlia, Chief Justice Duplicitious, Justice Pubesfilamentous

Back row: Justice Baffle, Justice Clone 1, Justice Clone 2, Justice Clone 3, Justice Girl

Chief Justice Duplicitous: All rise! Hee hee. Kidding. Keep your seats. Everybody here? Ready to start? Everybody pay his or her—ha ha—dues?
Justice Girl: Ah ah?

Justice Scowlia: I believe we are present, accounted for and eager to proceed. I myself have a duck-hunting excursion planned.


C.J. Duplicitous: So, then, who brought snacks? Justice Girl? Great. By the way, here’s the snack schedule for next month. If you can’t bring your snack for the assigned meeting, get someone else to fill in, folks.
Justice Clones: Signed up to bring all the treats, Justice Girl is.

Justice Girl: Riaf gnikcuf ton so si taht!

Scowlia: Move along.

C. J. Duplicitous: Justice Scowlia has a matter of great importance to discuss with you now.

Scowlia: Not everyone has turned in their money from the Donut Drive fundraiser. People, if we want to obtain those new robes….

Justice Scowlito: Mine has a hole in the most conspicuous spot.

Scowlia: Yes, your predecessor was squirmy. Silence, please!

Scowlito (ducks head): Forgive me, master.


Scowlia: You are new here, my padawan. There is nothing to forgive. Only follow my lead, and all shall be well.

Justice Girl: Rac eht ni yenom tunod ym tfel I.

Scowlia: SILENCE! YOU WILL NOT SPEAK WHILE I AM SPEAKING, JUSTICE GIRL!

Scowlia (sighs heavily): As I was saying…. I must turn in the fundraiser money by the end of the month. So, if you will please bring in your forms and money, I can proceed with that. My own robe becomes threadbare….

Justice Clones: Wear it 24 hours a day, you should not.

Scowlia: SILENCE!



C.J. Duplicitous: If we could cut this meeting a bit shorter than usual, I must get to the hairstylist by 2.

Scowlia: And I must meet a friend for the duck-hunting excursion.

Scowlito: But what about the game?


C. J. Duplicitous: You can play without us.

Justice Clones: Tired of Bingo, we are. Something more challenging, we would like.

Justice Girl: Ecin era sezirp eht tub.

Scowlia: I LIKE BINGO!

C. J. Duplicitous: ‘Nough said. Bingo it is. Okay, on to the next thing. Next week we have to hear that big case about…you know, the thing.

Scowlia: The Roe thing?

Duplicitous: That’s not it.

Scowlia: The President-for-Life Powers Act?

Duplicitous: That’s it. I’m thinking I like the idea.

Scowlia: It’s unanimous.

Scowlito: What is it?

Scowlia: I’ll fill you in later. No biggie. You’ll like it.

Justice Clones: Powerless to stop it, we are.

Justice Girl: Htob skcans gniod dna msicsaf gnippots eb t’nac I!

Justice Pubesfilamentous: Look, Justice Girl! Did you put this public hair on my coke can?

Justice Clones: No longer funny, that joke is.

Justice Girl: GIP!

Duplicitous, Scowlia, and Pubesfilamentous laugh uproariously. Scowlito looks around, confused, then laughs, too. Clones sigh. Justice Girl shoots them all the finger.

Clones: Comes to fruition, your evil plan does.

Scowlia: Want to make something of it? Hmmmm. You could find yourselves on a hunting trip with the Vice Emperor.

Clones: Vice-Emperor, he is not yet.

Scowlia: Yet. Walk carefully, Clones. Your kind is now on thin ice. Many of our followers think clones are evil. Remember, clones have no rights in this Empire…er, Republic. Be careful, lest ye forget it.



Duplicitous: Okay, I’m outta here. Hair won’t wait forever. All in favor, say aye.

Scowlito: In favor of what?

Duplicitous: Whatever.

Chorus of “Ayes.”

Justice Clone 1, quietly, to his fellows: Now await, we do, the man or woman who, rise up they will, and the Republic take back, our rights and freedoms, restore.

Clone 2: Very well, that will be. In the meantime, sell donuts, we must.

Justice Girl: Stunod ruoy yub lliw I sseug I.

Clone 3: A splendid solution.

Duplicitous: So concludes the March meeting of the Supreme Court. Those staying for Bingo meet Justice Baffle in the break room. See ya round like a donut! Ha ha.